La Maison et Le Chat
“Kate, I have to read this to you.”
Putting my book down, I looked up at Dawn, who sat reading at the other end of the couch. “Go for it.”
“I’m still reading the Julia Childs's memoir.” She held it up so I could see the cover. “There’s this quote that’s great, but it’s in French so I’m going to mangle it.”
The princess herself.
“Thanks for the warning.”
“I didn’t want your ears to bleed or anything.”
“So…” I smiled encouragingly. “The quote?”
“Right.” Resettling her glasses on her nose, she read very carefully, “An may son sens chat set lavvy sens so lay.”
It took me a moment, but I got it. “Ah. Une maison sans chat, c'est la vie sans soleil. A house without a cat is like life without sun.”
“Exactly.” Dawn beamed at her cat, who was crouched on the floor in front of me. “I feel that way about Tinkerbell. She’s like a ray of light in my world.”
Tinkerbell lifted her head and hissed at me—the kind of hissing that makes you want to back away really slowly.
“Um. Yeah.” I pulled my feet up onto the couch, just in case. Because I’m sure they look better with all my toes in tact. “Tinkerbell’s something, all right.”
“I don’t know why she’s been so strange the past few days.”
“She doesn’t normally freak out and attack her own tail?”
“No, she does that. She just doesn’t usually lay in wait for guests and try to trip them. She’s been talking to you a lot and following you around all over. That’s not normal.” Dawn frowned at the wee beastie little princess. “I think she’s trying to tell you something.”
“Maybe she has a message from the fairies.” I glanced at the cat, who stared steadily at me, obviously waiting. I breathed a sigh of relief when she huffed, as though disgusted with my telepathic shortcomings, and sauntered away. "Next time I visit, I'll bring a cat-to-English translator."
The princess herself.
Going Home... Again
Peeps, hear my cry!
Me this morning, with my perfect hair and perfect skin. And perfect clothes with goddamn matching shoes. (That was a line from a movie that no one but me and one other person in the world saw. Two points if you guess which one.)
Okay, that may have been a little dramatic, but I just wanted to make sure you were paying attention. Not that I'm going to make some kind of monumental statement or anything. Really I've got nothing to say, except...
I'm on my way home!
(Insert shrill whistling and bugle calls here.)
At least in theory I'll be on my way home. I'm publishing the blog early, because I'll be traveling Monday and all of Tuesday. With some luck, I'll actually be let out of Joburg to hurtle my way through space back to San Francisco. It's been sketchy here—anything can still happen.
Will I ever come back? Hell no. Maybe to South Africa—there are things to see—but never to Joburg. That's not to say there weren't great things about my visit here.
- The hotel staff rocked. I'm not sure I'll be able to cook for myself when I return home, or make my own bed. On top of it all, they made me feel at home.
- Something about the air must have agreed with me, because my skin and hair looked awesome. I'm talking the kind of shiny and luminous that could grace a Cosmo cover.
- I finished the book I was working on. If you're under deadline, I highly recommend being confined in an enclosed compound without any distractions.
- I got to fly on a plane with unlimited free booze and movies. Twice. (Hopefully.)
So what's next, Kate?
A career as a cagedancer for a rock band. And perhaps another book or two. Stay posted.
International Intrigue
I’ve embarked on a journey full of mystery, laced with a soupçon of danger. To Johannesburg.
Yeah—that Johannesburg, in South Africa. All the way on the other side of the world.
What the heck? you wonder. Why South Africa??
Frankly, I’m not sure why South Africa. That’s where the mystery comes into play. I’m remarkably short on the backstory of this tale. I’m not even certain I know all the characters involved.
Not having all the details makes me uncomfortable, which means I’ve had a bad attitude regarding this sudden trip from the beginning. (Insert sigh here.) But as I’ve been sitting here on the first leg of my trip (to Atlanta, if you need to know), I’ve decided I’m going to change my outlook on this whole thing. I am Joan Wilder, gone off to help a family member. This is an adventure, where I’ll get to see a land I normally wouldn’t have and order room service from my cushy hotel room. If anything, it’s given me good fodder for a future book.
Always look the bright side, my friends.
And to those of you who have recently commented about how my life is becoming more and more like a novel: you’re right. I’ve become one of my own heroines—earnest but slightly clueless, wandering through the maze of life and men, trying to find my place in the world, ready to kick ass. Who knows—maybe I’ll meet a deliciously accented tycoon who’ll whisk me off in his private plane to an exotic destination.
Stranger things have happened, right?
Last Days in Arkansas
I spent my last few days in Arkansas in grand style, and I have pictures to prove it. That’s right—it’s photojournalism time.
Exciting Thing #1: The Drive Through Wilderness Safari
For the past two years Julie’s been threatening promising to take me to the drive through animal safari. This year she delivered.
I know what you’re thinking: a safari in Arkansas? What the heck kind of animals will it have? Goats and armadillos?
Well, yeah, it did.
But in addition to the regular farm animals and assortment of mangy cats, they had black bears, wolves, peacocks, and real jungle cats (tigers as well as lions). I even touched a baby tiger.
Here’s Chloe the monkey. She’s a klepto. We were warned that she’d try to steal anything shiny, so I put my earrings in Julie’s pocket for safekeeping. It turned out that it was futile—Chloe pick-pocketed Julie. That was after the monkey jumped on my head from behind. Three times.
We had a Jurassic Park moment on the drive through portion of our visit, except instead of dinosaurs we were inundated with ostriches. Demon ostriches (note the glowing eyes).
Then Julie introduced me to my new boyfriend. He’s a rock star. He’s got style.
Exciting Thing #2: Box Suite at the Game
Last weekend, we went to see the Naturals (a minor league team) play. From a luxury suite, of course, because that’s how we roll.
At the game, I realized having a rock star boyfriend was overrated. He never stuck around and was always chasing other chicks. So I threw him over for…
It was love at first sight. Don’t worry—Sasquatch promised he’d groom his eyebrows and nose hairs for me.
Goodbyes, and Other Incidents
First, meet Jasper:
Jasper was determined to get my attention. I resisted, so he finally resorted to extreme measures: stealing my flip flop. He looks innocent, doesn’t he? Don’t believe it. He's a thief. He and Chloe should hook up.
And now...
I’m headed back to San Francisco—just for a few days before I’m off on another Big Adventure. I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I’m looking forward to walking my beach. On the other, I already miss Julie, her daughter, and the other friends I have here. But I’ll be back.*
* Note to Julie: that wasn’t meant to sound as threatening as it did.
The Magic Kingdom
I'm so freakin' tired. You have no idea. My eyes are gritty and my voice is raspy like I've smoked two packs a day since birth.
Translation: the 30th Annual RWA Conference was a smashing success.
The reality of attending a conference with 2000 romance writers will probably overwhelm you—or make you spasm. I don't want to be responsible for that, so I'm not going to go into much detail. However, I can give you some highlights.
- The Magic Kingdom. I'm very disappointed to say I didn't meet Mickey. Where was he? On vacation? I expected to find him lounging by the pool (which is the only reason I hung out there—really). The Swan and Dolphin resort was a good venue (the staff was awesome). I do have to say, though, that the dolphin statues were very weird, looking less like dolphins and more like drugged-out fish.
- Booksignings! My publisher booksigning rocked. For most of an hour and a half, I had a crazy line of people waiting to grab a copy of my books, including advanced copies of Tempted by Fate, which comes out in December. The Literacy signing was also fantastic. Thanks, everyone who stopped by to pick up a book or just to say hi.
- On being a Grand Central author... It's quite lovely, actually. Each conference, the GCP team takes it's authors to a swank dinner. This year I sat with Roxanne St. Claire and Kristen Painter. They tried to get me into trouble. They almost succeeded, but I had a flash of my editor watching me dance on the bar top, her mouth agape, and I decided I'd continue to be the good girl I really am. Maybe next year.
- Hanging with my homies. The great thing about the conference is that I get to see old friends and make great new ones. This year, I hung out with Allison Brennan, Marilyn Brant, Laura Moore, and Heather Graham to name a few.
- Outlet stores—sigh. Julie made me go shopping. Okay, we had a deal, and my end of the bargain was that I'd take her to the Coach outlet. I shopped for five hours. It's a record. I think I deserve a merit badge.
I have pictures, but due to technical difficulties you aren't getting them. It's a real bummer, because you know how awesome I am with the photos. Oh well. Maybe I'll tweet them. Keep an eye out.
If you didn't go and have questions, ask me. I'll give you answers—within reason. Because what happens at RWA...