Taking Care of Business
Do you know how many blog posts I've written in the past week? A whole heck of a lot. I've been asked to guest blog during the month of July, and I'm cranking out the posts to turn in. Don't worry—I'll post details when I know the whens and wheres of the event.
You know where I'm going with this, don't you? Can you blame me? I've written so many blogs, I don't have it in me to write this one. But as tempted as I am to post a Gone Fishing graphic and flake out, I can't bring myself to let you down. That's love. Except it's the vague and shallow kind of love that only merits random miscellanea (see below).
So long, Madrid.
I'm back in San Francisco, and I feel pretty good about it. Yes, I miss Madrid—and New York, for that matter. But there's something refreshing about having the ocean and the fog again. It's good to be back.
I'd rather clean the toilet.
A few days ago, I got the proofs for my next book, TEMPTED BY FATE. Don't tell my editor this, but proofs are my least favorite part of the publishing process. (Translation: it's utter torture.)
Picture this: you get a copy of your book, formatted for printing. Your job is to go through and make sure the pages are set properly and that everything is in order (no typos, that all the copyedits were inputted, etc). Sound easy? It is. But it's freaking tedious, especially after you've already read the book several times in the previous few weeks.
A blast from the past.
I'm getting together with my best friend from high school today, and I'm beyond excited. It's been twenty years since I've seen her. Life tore us asunder. (Insert dramatic sob here.) But several weeks ago while I was in Madrid she emailed me, and we're seeing each other for lunch. I have no expectations, but I know it'll be lovely regardless of the outcome.
Vamos Argentina!
Argentina is advancing to the next round of the World Cup. They play Germany on Saturday, a game which may cause a rift between me and my sister. She has a crush on one of the German players but—dude—the Argentinians are way hotter. Especially the goalie. And Messi is a futbol god. There really shouldn't be any question of who to root for.
Disney World, here I come.
At the end of July, I'm headed to Orlando for the RWA National conference. Why should you care? Because I'll be signing books at the RWA literacy event on July 28th (I think). Stop by Disney World's Dolphin and Swan Resort if you're in the area, say hi, and buy a book for a good cause.
Sneakiness.
Did you notice how I just slipped a little bit of World Cuppiness into this post? I'm sly that way.
Speaking of posting...
I haven't written a craft post in forever. Anyone want one? And what would you want? Character stuff? Plotting? A discussion on scene? Pacing? Dialogue? Let me know if you've got things you want to discuss.
What Would <insert person> blog?
I was trying to think of a topic for The Blog this week. I thought about writing something on New York, which is where I am currently. Well, technically I'm in Brooklyn at the moment, but that's not something interesting we should get into right now.
So I was sitting here and pondering possible subjects, which spurred me to change my Gmail status to WWJB? In other words: what would Jesus blog?
Which got me thinking... What would Jesus blog about? Or Buddha. Or Confucius. Or Abraham Lincoln, for that matter. (Not that I'm implying Confucius or Abraham Lincoln are deities—I'm just making a point. Please don't get your shorts in a twist.)
Which got me thinking more... If you could read the blog of someone from the past, who would it be? Genghis Khan? An Egyptian slave? A stegosaurus? Tell us.
Your Turn
I was sitting here, thinking about what to blog about, when I started to wonder why I should be the one to write this blog all the time. Yeah, I know it's my blog, if you want to get technical about it. But don't I deserve a break sometimes? And if there were ever a week I needed a break, it'd be this one.
So it's your turn to do this.
Got your pens typing fingers out? Because here's how we're rolling: I'm posting a picture, and you're going to write about it. A story, an essay, a sentence—whatever you want.
Here's your picture:
The best entry gets something special from moi. Seriously. So get to it.
Wanted
They say she's a thief.
They say she steals hearts.
She would disagree. She'd say that she didn't take anything that didn't want to be taken. She'd say those hearts were given to her, free and clear. Then she'd give you her wide-eyed, innocent look, and you'd eagerly agree that "they" must be delusional.
She's a creature of the night, but never in the shadows. She's sweet. She's crafty. Beguiling and bewitching. When she struts onto the dance floor, you know she owns it. She crooks her finger and her chosen partner comes running, desperate to lead her, even if it's just for one song. Her attitude captivates, her grace mesmerizes. One song, and you're lost.
How do I know? I've been there. One song, and she had me. She knew it too. She graced me with that little smile—the one that feels like it's aimed right at your heart—and I haven't been the same since.
Then the song was over and, with a flick of her saucy heel, she walked on, leaving me alone in the crowd, helplessly watching her select her next victim.
If you see her, be wary.
If you see her, tell her I miss her.
Christmas in Argentina
Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Bartolomé, Argentinian marketing representative of Claus International.
Well, my title doesn't do my actual job justice. I'm more of an elf-of-all-trades. I do marketing, PR, and update the company website. I also step in to help support when they get overwhelmed by the volume of correspondence to the Big Guy. And, in the off-season, I help in the stables. Rudolf requires a lot of, shall we say, attention. Champagne baths, massages with walnut oil (for a shiny coat), hot toddies twice a day for his voice... He is such a diva.
But you don't care about all that. You're wondering if Christmas is going to come to Argentina. Let me assure you, Papá Noel will make it all the way down south.
Maybe it'd be best if I referred you to some of our propaganda literature for further clarification.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Does Mr. Claus actually make it all the way, like, to Buenos Aires even? It's pretty far from the North Pole.
A: Yes, it's a long trip—Buenos Aires is far south—but we at Claus International are committed to excellence.
Q: Isn't it hot in Buenos Aires? That's so un-Christmas-like.
A: We realize that 80F weather makes for a different Christmas, but the essence is still there.
Q: Only won't Santa be hot? He wears all those layers and, let's face it, he's got some insulation on him.
A: Please don't be concerned for Mr. Claus. His sleigh is fully equipped with ventilation.
Q: But what about heat stroke?
A: We assure you, Mr. Claus will be fine. Really.
Q: Does he speak Castellano? Because they don't speak normal Spanish in Argentina.
A: No, but Donner is quite the linguist.
So if you're in Argentina, don't worry. If you've been nice, you're good to go. If you've been naughty... Well, there are certain exemptions south of the equator. Email us—we'll see if we can work something out.
Blog-ageddon II
I've revamped some things, instigated new policies, and generally wreaked havoc on the site. Ergo, new blog system.
I debated what to do about the old stuff. It seemed crazy to enter the million or so blog posts that exist into my new blog software, not to mention the ten million comments. Instead, I decided I'm going to keep the old stuff available as archives. From right here.
Except then when I tried to do it, I encountered some tech issues (it's complicated). Instead of trying to hack things out, I opted to eat pizza and drink beer. Sue me.
So one day soon, all the old blogs will be accessible. Hopefully.