Wanted
They say she's a thief.
They say she steals hearts.
She would disagree. She'd say that she didn't take anything that didn't want to be taken. She'd say those hearts were given to her, free and clear. Then she'd give you her wide-eyed, innocent look, and you'd eagerly agree that "they" must be delusional.
She's a creature of the night, but never in the shadows. She's sweet. She's crafty. Beguiling and bewitching. When she struts onto the dance floor, you know she owns it. She crooks her finger and her chosen partner comes running, desperate to lead her, even if it's just for one song. Her attitude captivates, her grace mesmerizes. One song, and you're lost.
How do I know? I've been there. One song, and she had me. She knew it too. She graced me with that little smile—the one that feels like it's aimed right at your heart—and I haven't been the same since.
Then the song was over and, with a flick of her saucy heel, she walked on, leaving me alone in the crowd, helplessly watching her select her next victim.
If you see her, be wary.
If you see her, tell her I miss her.
Christmas in Argentina
Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Bartolomé, Argentinian marketing representative of Claus International.
Well, my title doesn't do my actual job justice. I'm more of an elf-of-all-trades. I do marketing, PR, and update the company website. I also step in to help support when they get overwhelmed by the volume of correspondence to the Big Guy. And, in the off-season, I help in the stables. Rudolf requires a lot of, shall we say, attention. Champagne baths, massages with walnut oil (for a shiny coat), hot toddies twice a day for his voice... He is such a diva.
But you don't care about all that. You're wondering if Christmas is going to come to Argentina. Let me assure you, Papá Noel will make it all the way down south.
Maybe it'd be best if I referred you to some of our propaganda literature for further clarification.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Does Mr. Claus actually make it all the way, like, to Buenos Aires even? It's pretty far from the North Pole.
A: Yes, it's a long trip—Buenos Aires is far south—but we at Claus International are committed to excellence.
Q: Isn't it hot in Buenos Aires? That's so un-Christmas-like.
A: We realize that 80F weather makes for a different Christmas, but the essence is still there.
Q: Only won't Santa be hot? He wears all those layers and, let's face it, he's got some insulation on him.
A: Please don't be concerned for Mr. Claus. His sleigh is fully equipped with ventilation.
Q: But what about heat stroke?
A: We assure you, Mr. Claus will be fine. Really.
Q: Does he speak Castellano? Because they don't speak normal Spanish in Argentina.
A: No, but Donner is quite the linguist.
So if you're in Argentina, don't worry. If you've been nice, you're good to go. If you've been naughty... Well, there are certain exemptions south of the equator. Email us—we'll see if we can work something out.