They Say It's Your Birthday
Not mine, but my sister's, and to help her celebrate I flew my ass to New York for an epic week of celebration that involved drinking, eating, and playing skee-ball. There was also much dancing—on top of bars, tables, and various other surfaces.
I don't have pictures of any of that. Trust me—it's better that way.
But I do have a few from her actual birthday that you may enjoy viewing. Where better to start than with my sister and me?
Aren't we cute?
Like I said, it was her birthday. This is what 28 looks like, apparently:
Frankly, I don't remember my 28th birthday, but I'm pretty sure it didn't look this aggressive.
For her birthday, I really wanted to have a Crif Dog. Being a good sport and loving sister, she acquiesced to my desire. I ordered a hot dog wrapped in bacon, with cream cheese, green onions, and hot sauce. I was VERY excited about it.
The hot dog was frickin' amazing. I would have gotten another one, but my sister pointed out that we didn't have time in our schedule for a triple bypass. Next time.
After hot dogs, I took my sister for a trip to the moon.
She rocks the space suit. You should see her hop along the lunar landscape.
The week also included other fun, non-birthday related events. Dinner with my Magic Man's family and lunch with friends, most notably JB Lynn. Usually when I have lunch with JB, there's at least one sighting of a murdered body (suspense authors see corpses everywhere). This time, not so. It was strange. I did, however, almost get arrested while I waited for her, so that's something.
If you were going to celebrate your birthday for a week (and I highly recommend that you do), what sort of activities would you include?
Definitely Nice
Dear Santa,
You and I are like this.
Don't roll your eyes. I may not rock the fabulous belly or have enough red fur in my wardrobe, but we have one BIG thing in common: our love of lists. The only thing better than a list is sticky notes. But—dude—in your line of work, sticky notes would get out of control really quickly. Plus, with all the traveling you do, your current method is much more efficient. I totally get it.
So this list of yours... You know the one I'm talking about—the one you're checking twice.
I know in the past years, there’s been some debate about which column I fall into. Not so this year, let me assure you! I’ve been the best girl EVER. It’s almost killed me, but I’ve made it, and I think you realize that too.
Because I’m such a good girl, I’m even going to help you out by putting together a short list of things you could bring me. You know how I’m zodiacally predisposed to wanting new, shiny things? Well, this year, I’m going for modest.
No, really.
All I Want for Christmas: Kate's List, Not the Song
My sister.
I’m already getting her from someone else. Sorry, Santa. Snooze, you lose.
New tango shoes.
I know, I know—I haven’t been out dancing in forever. What do I need a new pair of tango shoes for?
Because I want them. Duh.
Also, I’m making a commitment to go dancing at least once a month from now on. Life is too short not to tango, especially when you enjoy it so much.
A note on the shoes: I wear a 36, and Greta Floras are a must. Not that I don’t like the peacock blue, but my preferred color is silver. Except—you know—do what you have to do.
Clothes.
You don't want me to get hypothermia, right? So perhaps a few warm things to augment my wardrobe. A couple long sleeves T-shirts and thin sweaters to layer over my tank tops would be much appreciated. I may also need the cute denim skirt I saw at American Apparel. Based on the outfits I’ve seen Mrs. Claus wearing, I figure you’ll be all over the skirt. You appear to be a leg man.
A trip with my Magic Man.
Somewhere warm, please. Maybe a beach getaway, where he can frolic in the surf and I can lounge in the sun and write. I’m even willing to compromise and only go away for two weeks instead of two months.
A new kitchen.
Don’t roll your eyes at me, Santa. It may be a tad difficult to get that much foliage outside my windows, considering I’m on the fourth floor, but do try. Also, you’re going to have to stretch out our apartment. But—heck—if it’s easier just to give us a new condo, I’m good with that.
Also, I wouldn't scoff at some shiny new Le Creuset pans to go with my shiny new kitchen. Maybe in green. Or whatever color you have left at the end of your route. I'm not picky.
Does that give you enough to work with? My main concern is making your job easier for you. Think of me like your little helper, minus the green tights and pointy hat.
Happy Holidays, big guy!
Smooches,
Kate
Endings
I was having a conversation with my sister. The conversation itself isn't important, so I'm not going to get into that. Except you want to know what we were talking about, don't you? I can feel your burning curiosity over the ether.
Okay—fine. I'll tell you. I was writing one of the past weeks' blogs and I couldn't figure out how to end it.
Endings are hard. They're as important as, if not more important than, beginnings. Yeah, the beginning needs to engage and interest you enough to read on, but the ending needs to leave you a satisfied customer. It's not easy. Trust me.
Anyway, I was having trouble wrapping up the blog, so I Google-chatted my sister. Have I mentioned that woman is brilliant? She instantly sent me a list of excellent endings.
No, I didn't use any of them.
However, I did compile a list of the best ones for your reading pleasure.
My Sister Ends It: A Short List of Her Fantastic Endings
... And then there were none.
... You wouldn't have thought that chickens could do that.
... The next thing we knew, we were rolling down the hill screaming.
... And that's why we should never jump down elevator shafts.
... That's how we came to be covered in paint and rolling on the floor.
... It just goes to show you, don't trust a jaguar with a pink bow on its ear.
Do you have your own ending to add? Or perhaps you have a particular favorite ending from a published work?
As for me... I didn't know where the leprechaun came from, but I smiled at him and said, "Come in, we're having short ribs for dinner."
Sisterly Questions
from Kate Perry <kate@kateperry.com>
to Parisa <parisa@p-zo.com>
subject Help!
Hey! TEMPTED BY FATE is being released in a few weeks, and I have to write a marketing post for Romantic Times. I thought an author interview would be nice. Can you help me? Would you send me some interview questions? I'd love you forever.
from Parisa <parisa@p-zo.com>
to Kate Perry <kate@kateperry.com>
subject re: Help!
you love me forever anyway.
from Kate Perry <kate@kateperry.com>
to Parisa <parisa@p-zo.com>
subject re: re: Help!
Are you going to help your sister or what?
from Parisa <parisa@p-zo.com>
to Kate Perry <kate@kateperry.com>
subject re: re: re: Help!
what are my other options?
from Parisa <parisa@p-zo.com>
to Kate Perry <kate@kateperry.com>
subject interview questions
just kidding. hehehe.
here they are:
If you could have any five people (fiction or not fiction) on your zombie team for the zombie-pocalypse, who would you choose?
If you had a snail that could grant magical wishes, what would you name it?
If you were part of X-Men, what would your name be?
Okay, okay. Also, what would your mutation be?
Would you rather have buckets for hands or be blind? Why?
If you could go back in time for 24 hours, when and where would you go?
If your fairy godmother showed up today, what would she bestow upon you?
Do you have the rhythm of the hot dog?
from Kate Perry <kate@kateperry.com>
to Parisa <parisa@p-zo.com>
subject Are you serious?
A snail??
from Parisa <parisa@p-zo.com>
to Kate Perry <kate@kateperry.com>
subject re: Are you serious?
it's a great question. people will love that one. trust me.
from Kate Perry <kate@kateperry.com>
to Parisa <parisa@p-zo.com>
subject re: re: Are you serious?
Maybe I need to reconsider this idea...