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The Kid
I'm somewhat of a lingerie expert (modestly speaking). So when my friend's thirteen-year-old daughter needed new bras, I was the obvious choice to take along (barring the fact that I hate shopping). Really, he has a deep fear of going to retail establishments with his daughter, who has the stamina of a Sherpa when it comes to buying clothes, and he needed a security blanket (me).
But we'll examine his phobias another day. Today is all about the kid.
After hours of Victoria's Secret hell¹, we went back to their place for dinner and movie. It was a little after 11pm when my friend began wrangling the kid to go to bed. At some point during the wrangling, there was a chase (of course) and the kid hit her leg on a piece of furniture.
I took transcripts of the ensuing conversation.
My friend: See. This is what happens when you fool around. Now go to bed.
The kid: I can't go to bed! I'm seriously wounded.
Him: You aren't wounded.
Her: Yes, I am. Look, you can see bone.
Me: (looking closer but only seeing a tiny patch of thinly scraped skin)
Him: (unimpressed) There's not even any blood.
Her: Because I'm bleeding on the inside!
Me: (stifling my laughter after my friend gives me a dark look)
Her: Now my leg will be deformed, and then no man will ever date me. I'll end up being a fat old lonely cat lady!
Him: You're skinny.
Her: Then I'll be a skinny old cat lady. And I hate cats!
Me: (snickering, but behind my hand)
Him: (shooting me another dark look before turning to his daughter) It's bed time. Now.
There was a minor scuffle involving a child-proof gate, and then some viewing of SNL skits on YouTube, before bed time actually happened.
But what I'm wondering is if I need to hang out with kids more², because they say the greatest things. Maybe that's where my muse is, sitting on some playground, soaking in the creativity. Hmm...
¹ It actually wasn't that bad. I didn't feel the need to start karate-chopping the mannequins or anything. Plus, I like the kid. Her dad's fairly entertaining too.
² In a non-creepy way, of course.
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Comments
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I haaaaate lingerie shopping... Mostly because I feel so judged when I'm in that section of the store. I spend the whole time thinking "I'm not looking for anything sexy! I don't even have a boyfriend! MINE JUST DOESN'T FIT ANYMORE, I SWEAR!!"
Unless she's a hemophiliac (correct word??) I think she'll survive the small bruise =P But you're right, it definitely is entertaining. And acting like a kid sometimes is fun too! Last night on my way home, I went on the swings, failed at the monkey bars (Never have been able to cross those things...), kicked up a bunch of fallen leaves, and made a leaf-angel. It was great!
Posted by Karen, 26/10/2010 7:39am (2 years ago)
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There's no one more creative than a kid trying to get out of something.
Posted by JB Lynn, 26/10/2010 10:14am (2 years ago)
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I used to not be able to cross monkey bars either, Karen. Whenever I pass a set now, I want to try to see how I'd do now. I think I could do it.
JB, my sister used to be hungry right before bed. She HAD to have a bowl of cereal. Now, as an adult, having a bowl of cereal at night is part of her nighttime routine.Posted by Kate, 26/10/2010 2:11pm (2 years ago)
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Ah, but does she eat "kid" cereals like Frosted Flakes, Lucky Charms or Cheerios or does she eat something more "grown up" like Fiber One?
Posted by JB Lynn, 26/10/2010 2:54pm (2 years ago)
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I eat kid cereals before bed. Cocoa pebbles is a favorite. Right now it's either golden grahams or cinnamon toast crunch. :) It's like my dessert.
Posted by Parisa, 26/10/2010 3:00pm (2 years ago)
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Also, I wasn't really HUNGRY before bed when I was little, I just used it as a stalling tactic so I didn't have to go to sleep.
Posted by Parisa, 26/10/2010 3:01pm (2 years ago)
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LOL, that's great Parisa!
My DH insists on Lucky Charms or Frosted Flakes at night...even though he eats health, high fiber cereal in the morning.Posted by JB Lynn, 26/10/2010 7:21pm (2 years ago)
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Golden Grahams... I would buy some but I have no bowls to eat it from. Or spoons.
Do Lucky Charms taste the same as they did when we were kids? Aren't there all sorts of strange shapes in there now? And I thought adding the purple horseshoe was insane.Posted by Kate, 28/10/2010 4:58pm (2 years ago)
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ha ha, that "kid" is awesome. Like a mini me. I am a wus when it comes to pain.
As far as cereal goes I enjoy lucky charms with extra marshmellows before bed.Posted by Jessica Rabbit, 05/11/2010 7:07pm (2 years ago)
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I remember the Lucky Charm marshmallows to be little bites of happiness. I wonder if they taste the same. Maybe this requires some research. ;)
Posted by Kate, 09/11/2010 12:11am (2 years ago)
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